Food  /food/ noun Any nutritious substance that people or animals eat or drink, or that plants absorb, in order to maintain life and growth.

By that definition, most of what you shovel into your piehole is NOT food.  Chew on that for a while...




"Nothing will benefit human health and increase the chances for survival of life on earth as much as the evolution to a vegetarian diet." —Albert Einstein

These are my rules.  It's time to put on your big girl panties and pull yourself up by your bootstraps.  No one said it was going to be easy.  Junk food IS an addiction.  And don't even think about using the word 'moderation'.  Moderation, Schmoderation. Just because it tastes good, is easily attainable or makes you happy does not mean you should shove it in your face.  Cocaine feels great too but should you be doing that?  Just stop being a pansy ass and follow the rules.  Or, go stand in the corner.  Now.  Thanks.  

What to Avoid Like the Plague
What  to Partake In Freely
What to Limit

   What to Avoid Like the Plague:  

  • Dairy and anything containing casein or whey protein (=dairy).  Studies overwhelmingly prove that dairy can actually turn cancer On and OFF.  This is the hardest for most people.  Far harder than giving up meat.  And it's not easy but check out the blog and recipe archive for help.  Or email me.  I am here to support you on your journey to ultimate health.  If you say you CAN'T...get the F*#@ off my page.  You CAN do anything!
  • Any meats raised on feedlots.  Beef should ALWAYS be grassfed.  No added Nitrites.  No hormones.  No steroids.  No shit. 
  • MSG, Monosodium Glutamate or Artificial Flavorings (usually means MSG.  When food producers became required to name MSG on their product labeling, many resorted to create names for the harmful substance).
  • White Refined Sugar (use organic, agave, stevia, raw sugar...not the cheap white crap.  It is virtually cocaine.  Can you say Hello Diabetes?  No?  I'll do it for you!  Hello Diabetes!)
  • White Flour - They don't call it Bleached for nothing.  It is literally bleached.  Bleached is NOT a euphanism for a fun healthy world.  Its friggin bleach.
  • Aspartame, more artificial junk linked to a host of diseases. 
  • High Fructose Corn Syrup (HFCS) - It is fake.  It is dangerous.  It is in almost EVERYTHING!  You CAN live without it. 
  • Artificial Colors - Yellow Lake #5?  Red #40?  WTF?  Artifical colors are nothing but marketing devices.   Psycological studies have shown that 'pretty food' sells.  In spite of being a large scale psycological test for all of us dim-witted fools that have bought into it, it has been linked to a plethora of health problems like ADHD, Eczema and Cancer.  If I put things into my mouth just because they are 'pretty', I'd have a faceful of butterflies and George Clooney.  Hmmm... 

    What to Limit:  
  • Meat.  Beef, Pork, Lamb, Fish and any other poor defenseless animal you are compelled to ingest.  We have mouths full of blunt teeth with ONLY 4 Canine teeth.  The bile in our stomaches is far different from that of carnivores as well.  Meat, on occasion (1-2x per week TOPS) is ok so long as the meat is organic, and follows the What To Avoid By The Plague rules.  For fish, only fish lower on the mercury scale should be eaten and only fish that were sustainably harvested.  (i.e. Farmed Salmon is a No-No) A quick note on this before tree hugging vegans beat my door down: Mother frigging Nature herself did NOT intend for us to survive on B12 supplements!  If you are a vegan for the sake of the animals, I commend you.  That is honorable and by all means, take your B12!  I eat the way I firmly believe my body was designed to.  In effect, its saves a tons of animals! 
  • Sugar and other sweetners.  Stevia is OK.  Agave is highly debatable as far as raising Glycemic Index.  So long as the sweetener is not white sugar or HFCS, use but not in everything.  Only raw cane sugar or other natural sugar.  Nothing fake.  Fake is not food.
  • Fruits and vegetables that are Non-Organic, especially those on the Dirty Dozen List.  Easy rule of thumb: If you eat the skin, buy it organic.  If its a berry, ONLY buy organic.  If you eat the skin and cant find it organic (i.e. cucumbers), peel the skin before using it or if its not peel-able, scrub it.  Otherwise, find a different fruit or veggie or grow your own!
  • Friends/Family that are unsupportive of your new changes.  They can be big pains in the ass.  BIG Pains.  Obviously, I am not telling you to shun your family, but they can often be big obstacles on your path to health.  I get it.  Friends will make fun of you.  Family members will call you a tree-hugger.  Here's the thing: We only know what we know.  And when you know better, you do better (~Maya Angelou).  When flooded with evidence of our poor diets and that of healthy diets, YOU DO better.  They will come around eventually, but you may want to limit contact while you are still in your fragile stage of transitioning.  In the meantime, make the Who Cut The Cheese-Cake and you'll win them over in no time.  I can almost guarantee it.  It's a tastebud orgasm for sure. 
  • Eggs.  Despite popular belief, hard boiled eggs are not a healthy go-to snack.  They are loaded with fat and calories and animal products are not meant to be consumed on a regular basis.  I do, however occasionally condone egg-use.  Eggs do have choline, which is great for brain function and developing brain function in-utero.  As far as vegans go, if you buy eggs from a backyard chicken, you are NOT eating baby chicks and no chickens were harmed by shooting an egg out of their ass.  Eggs should only be purchased from local farmers, who, thanks to our giant asshole of an FDA and USDA, require that farmers label their eggs as for Pet Consumption Only.  I eat them.  I have yet to get sick.  Buying conventional eggs does contribute to some serious animal abuse.  Don't be a jerk. 
  • Gluten.  Gluten is not easily digested and has been linked to a host of health problems.  Some people should avoid this entirely.  I choose to limit it.  For example, I buy GF (=Gluten Free) bread, GF pasta, GF Braggs Liquid Aminos instead of soy sauce.  I buy many GF items so that the small amount that may sneak into my diet, mainly from meat substitutes, is ok for me.
  • Alcohol.  Unless for some other health reason or because you are an aolcoholic, if you can handle yourself, a little liquid libations won't hurt anything combined with an otherwise healthy diet.  Bottoms up!
  • Goats Milk.  It is not natural for us to consume the breastmilk of another animal, intended for their young.  HOWEVER, Goats Milk does NOT contain the amounts of casein present in cow's milk and if you're having trouble dealing with no cheese, allow yourself a small amount of goat cheese.  It won't kill you.  It is actually the closest thing in nature to a human's breastmilk and a good option if you are of the few that cannot breastfeed.  ONLY buy high quality goat milk or cheese

What  to Partake In Freely:  

  • Working-Out.  Get up and move your lazy butt!  You can't depend on TV watching to get your heart rate up and get your metabolism going.  Especially in the morning if you can.  The sun gives you energy and free Vitamin D.  So, get up and get moving.  Dance, walk, run, play Wii Fit, bike, join a gym.  Whatever it takes.  Just get that butt of yours moving and watch the dimples on it disappear!  And despite popular misconception, having an active sex life does not a work-out make.  But working-out will make your figure and stamina far better!
  • Veggies.  Eat an array of colors.  Each color represents something prevalent in the vegetable that is crucial to our health.  If there is a veggie you don't like, eat more of it.  As stated before, our tastebuds are tainted.  Keep trying them and try them in different ways.  If you dont like raw carrots, maybe you like them Cooked Carrots?  Carrot Juice.  Carrot Sticks.  Julienned Carrots in Sauce.  Carrot Gumbo.  Carrot Cocktail.  BBQ Carrots.  Rice and Carrots.  See where I'm going with this Forest?  The possibilities are endless so Never say you Don't like something.  Rather, you just don't like the way it was prepared and try again.
  • Fruits.  Screw what people say about them being high in sugar.  The sugar is natural.  If you eat ALL fruits, you will have an issue but if you consume an equal amount or more of veggies...tell those fruit naysayers to shut the hell up!  Again, eat an array of colors!  If you could mentally picture your daily food all on one plate, it should look like a rainbow.
  • Grains.  I keep hearing people bitch and moan about too many grains!  Grains are good for you and provide you with tons of nutrients.  So long as the grains are natural (i.e. not white rice), eat them!  Especially quinoa (pronounced keen-wa).  Eat a variety.  Barley, bulgur, brown rice, cous cous, millet, amaranth, etc.  An exception to this rule is Gluten.  Gluten is not easily digested and should be limited.
  • READ LABELS.  If the ingredients list is huge, don't buy it.  If you can only understand a small portion of it, leave it on the shelf for some other unsuspecting fool to eat.   Or better yet, call FDA and USDA and tell them to outlaw the cancer and neurotoxins that they are allowing to be injected into our food supply!
  • Have fun with health.  If you are at the supermarket and see a fruit or veggie that you have never heard of, BUY IT!  Go home, google it and find a recipe.  Give it a shot.  It may be the best thing you've ever had.  You may hate it.  There's only one way to find out.  You will forget if you don't buy it right then....so buy it THEN google it. Then let me know how it was so I don't make the mistake of buying something gross!  (JK!)
  • Stay informed.  Reading and watching documentaries.  Keeping yourself informed is the best way to stay on track.  Every time you think you want something with cheese, read about the dairy industry.  You'll change your mind quick.  Learn about food substitutions.  If it's something sweet and creamy you want, buy dairy free ice cream or make something.  Most people who try the food I make have no idea its dairy-free.  You can make food taste delicious without a the use of cow's breastmilk.